The Tao of Cheese

Baseball

2003-10-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

Baseball would be far more interesting to watch if the bases were electrified, starving hyenas were allowed onto the field, and landmines were planted at random throughout the ballpark.

"Pierre steps up to the plate... The pitch, he swings, it's a long fly ball, it's going, it's going... And the hyenas drag him off! What a shame they really needed that run, Bill."

"It's hit deep into right field... Sosa is at the track... *explosion heard in background*... How about that?"

Just some ideas that might bring back the fans to a game played by extremely overpaid people that just swing a stick at a ball. Does Derek Jeter really need to make $20,000,000.00 a year? If just one of my idea's was put in place, and he survived, he just might be worth it.

Columbus Day...

2003-10-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

Columbus Day...

So today we celebrate the day that Columbus successfully invaded North America. What a daring move to march in full armor into a peaceful native village armed with the latest Spanish steel and firearms and kidnap whoever you wanted, to sell them into slavery.

What a brave, humanitarian soul Columbus must have had to have thought so highly of his fellow members of the human race to remove them from the evils that was their peaceful existence and throw them into Spanish life so they could be taught the errors of their ways in a life of servitude. What a truly wonderful thing to accomplish and well worthy of this day of remembrance.

Happy Slave Traders Day to one and all!

Math Skills...

2003-10-10T22:44:00.000-07:00

Math Skills...

This morning, while adjusting inventory, I came across something that was rather odd. An additive that has a 1% let down rate was added to 135 lbs of base material. The amount of colorant used was 1.49 lbs. Which led me to ask people as they were walking by what 1% of 135 is. I asked 12 people, out of these 12, four could not give an exact answer, five had to think about it, only three came up with a straight answer of 1.35 right away. My first reaction is to say that these people are idiots, yet no one can really be that stupid, can they? So I put more thought into it and I decide to give these people the benefit of the doubt, and say they just aren't thinking critically.

I find this disturbing. Not just in the simple math, but in life in general. How can we, as a country, expect to get anything done when no thought is being put into life. You can't just wake up and half-assedely go through life. Doing so leads to really bad decisions being made. Like G.W. Bush and the recent Schwarzenegger fiasco in California.

I am surrounded by people that do not think, unfortunately there is nothing special about the place I work so I can assume that these numbers can expand out into the general population.

Which honestly explains why Dubya is president and Ahhnuld heads California.

Either that or people are just stupid

Happiness, where does it come from?

2003-10-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

I think true happiness might come from appreciating the small things that life has to offer, the subtle scent of a freshly bloomed rose, the majestic colors of the leaves in autumn, the sunlight dancing through the pine needles in the morning, the moon back-lighting the hoar frost on a cold Winters morn'.

Then again, maybe it comes from knowing that I am not this guy.

I don't know.

So let me get this straight...

2003-10-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

I can walk up to any woman I want, pull her breasts out, play with them publicly without her permission, worship Adolf Hitler and still be the governor of a major electoral state?!? Where do I sign up?